Author: anitastephen2015

Hands down, I know this is my all time favourite- Christmas of 2005. It was the last Christmas that I was together with my mum and dad. Mum would pass away in January 2006. It was the last time my home was the way I loved so very much.

It was a hard decision to come home that Christmas. I’d gone to the UK for my best friend’s wedding. She’d not had the best run in relationships till then. Then she met her beau and now (still!) husband. They planned their wedding for December 2005 and I was her bridesmaid. It’d been exciting planning for the trip but as time came, I just felt a heaviness that I couldn’t explain and almost didn’t want to go.

Am glad I went. It was a beautiful wedding and they were so happy. I was, however, ready to go home. I must’ve spent ages on the phone, but was finally able to get a flight that would get me home on Christmas Eve. I think my best friend was shocked at my sudden upheaval and I couldn’t explain the need to just up and leave. Part of me thought we’d no longer be friends.

My father and my mother were overjoyed when I rocked up that Christmas Eve. The three of us spent absolute ages chatting into the middle of the night as was our usual over the holiday season. I felt the strength of what it meant to be exactly where I was supposed to be – with the people who loved me the most in the world.

I no longer have either of them with me. The memories I have are beautiful, and I am thankful to God for His graces. Had He not put it in my heart to get back, I’d not have our last Christmas in the way I now do.

Today, Gamora and I went for a rather lovely walk in the park. It was just beautiful. There are days when the park is just even more beautiful than usual. This was one of those days. Every bit of colour popped and the play of the reflection of clouds in water was simply delightful.

Gamora made friends with three dogs today. Two were much bigger than her but were such lovely creatures. You could tell they were sweet. Gamora does get overwhelmed by bigger dogs. So this was rare treat to have her bravely go up to them and make friends. After all the butt sniffing, our exploration kept moving forward. No monitor lizards, monkeys, or squirrels to make Gamora go berserk! It was a calm and peaceful day.

When we got home, Gamora was completely knocked out! 4.6km at a brisk pace is hard for for my little girl. Her legs are short. I love it when she is knackered after a walk. There’s a kind of satisfaction that is unspoken!

I then had a coaching client. It’s such a joy with some clients because of their positivity and passion. Today was such a case. It felt good to end the week with this.

My best friend and I try to have a call on Fridays. It was so good to hear her voice, even though it always makes me wish our countries were closer and we lived next door! She is funny, and totally lovely.

It’s been a joyful day! Thankful to God for this 🙏🏾

I’m not ashamed to admit it. These days I spend the most time with my pup, Gamora. Gamora is half pug, half dachshund. She’s got such a bright and quirky personality. She’s also the most instinctive of all my pooches.

I’ve come to realise that I’m a bit of a homebody. My home’s shattered now. In August this year, it will be two years since I lost my dad and it’s about eighteen and a half years since I lost my mum. I feel like everything has changed. Gamora came to me five months before my dad passed on and maybe that’s why she feels like a link to home as I knew it.

Gamora loves people. One of my cousins is her fairy godmother! She’s always coming to Gamora’s rescue, when I need help looking after her. My aunt, my cousin’s mum, has declared that she is Gamora’s fairy god-grandmother! It’s hilarious, but she too comes over to help me out. Some of my other cousins, uncles and aunts, come over when I celebrate Gamora’s birthday. It’s really sweet because they even bring her presents.

Some neighbours stop by to say hi to Gamora. One even stops his car outside our gate, gets down and has a chat with her before leaving. I don’t need to be around! An old friend of mine and her daughter are some of Gamora’s very good friends! Every toy they’ve brought seems to be her favourite! And there are some others who drop by quite often, all of whom Gamora adores. She shows it.

My favourite thing with Gamora is when we go to a park she loves. She enjoys walking. It’s funny how people greet her and play with her, because she shows her appreciation. I also love taking her to cafes. She loves the attention! I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love just pottering around with her in the garden, throwing the ball for her to catch. I love how she chases after it and catches it so quickly. Maybe my absolute favourite is when she snuggles up to me. In this heat, it’s like having a hot water bottle, which isn’t helpful, but somehow, just feeling the softness of her ears, the roundness of her belly, and the cuddliness of her entire being, melts my heart.

I’m so thankful to God for Gamora. She’s such a big, bright blessing.

I come from Malaysia, which is very close to the equator. It’s hot and humid all year round, with lots of rain throughout the year. I have experienced cold weather while on holiday in Ooty in India, when I was a little child, and then in the UK as a student, and subsequently in a few other places when on holiday. The latest was in January 2025 in Istanbul.

I’m not put off by cold weather. There’s something romantic about it, especially when you’re writing about it from the warmth! Truly, though, I like experiencing the cold. There’s a crispness about the air and a coolness it plants on my cheek which I simply love. I love it when there’s an event to get all dressed up for. You don’t feel sticky at all- and everything from your makeup to your hair remains in place, unperturbed by sweat. It’s brilliant for photos!

Yet, would I want to live in the cold? I don’t think so. It makes everything more difficult. Going outside isn’t just a matter of stepping out in what you’ve got on. You’ve got to be properly attired. I also feel it gets really complicated because it can get very warm in a stuffy sort of way when you’re layered up. I find that I’m always putting on and taking off layers, like it’s a fun pastime.

If given a choice, I’ll choose the heat – especially if it’s by the sea. There’s a magic that happens in that weather that remains unbearable for me. So whilst I don’t hate the cold, I’ll stick to the seaside sunny-ness that I love with all my heart.

Whilst I have had my share of broken bones. It’s not something I recommend trying to get a share in. It’s not fun.

My first broken bone was when I fractured my elbow. I must’ve been around 6 or 7. I remember it clearly till today. My mum had just left home and was already walking past a neighbour’s house when it happened. She dropped her stuff on the road and ran back.

I’d been reading a book and had decided it’d be a good idea to continue reading as I navigated the staircase. I missed the last three stairs and landed rather unceremoniously near at the foot of the staircase in agony.

It all ended well in the end.

Some years later, I think I was in my teens at the time, we had family visiting. My dad and I were outside with some of our family and I don’t even know how to explain what happened, I started pretending to push against him, except that I’d stop before I got to him. We were all laughing and in my mind, I secretly planned to push all the way in the next minute. I wasn’t to know that at precisely that minute, my father’s secret plan was to step away. So I ended up lunging forward, missing my dad, and falling flat on to my wrist. That’s how I fractured my wrist.

Also in my teens, I started having very bad pains on my knee. When they did an x-ray, they realised there were a lot of hairline fractures on my shin that were healing. We have no idea how that happened. I just remember the shock we had when we saw it. This was the start to a diagnosis of ‘growing pains’ which is thankfully long behind me!

The last bone I broke, and I hope it remains the last, was my nose. This happened when I was in university in the north west of England. I was walking down a street on the 3rd of January. It was extremely quiet because people were still recovering from partying. As I walked downhill, and was about to step off one pavement onto the next, I slipped. I’d no idea what had happened but I fell face forward, hitting myself on the pavement. I’d slipped on black ice. I come from Malaysia- we don’t have sleet and black ice here. I ended up breaking my nose and sustaining a fracture on my skull. It was awful.

Unlike the earlier fractures, this last one happened not long before my final exams at university. We couldn’t afford for me to defer my exams and I sat for them with an oozy head. The effect that’s lasted is that my final grade suffered. In the end, I’ve still done well. I just often wonder what other doors would’ve opened if I’d got the best grade I was capable of at the time.

There are so many areas in myself that I want to improve upon. If I had to choose one, it’d be to improve my sleep discipline. I’ve been working on sleeping better for some time now. As someone who is struggling with an autoimmune condition, I’ve felt the impact of getting enough sleep. When I get enough sleep, I find that my pain levels aren’t as bad, and that my recovery time from any exertion is quicker. More significantly, I find that when I stick to my sleep routines, my mind is rested. One of the worst symptoms of my disease is chronic fatigue. Whilst sleep isn’t always good during this time, getting all the rest I can helps with the tiredness that my mind feels in those times. I recognise too that when I’m okay, sleeping well makes me stronger mentally to face the times when a flare strikes.

It sounds almost boring and I feel at points that I’m missing out on things with friends and family. But I’ve learnt to be content with the exceptions I make to my sleep patterns and to enjoy the overwhelmingly wonderful results.

I love this topic! I’m a leader, but I think the only reason I’m a good leader is because I can follow. There are times when I’m in a setting and there are quite a few drivers. In those instances, I find that I’m able and content to let them lead. I don’t feel like I must always have the reins- but I make sure I speak up when I need to.

I think what’s often missing is that people want to lead but not follow. Leadership that’s inclusive and kind (and consequently, strong), requires people who’re able to follow. Otherwise, it’s impossible to listen to or empower others.

My hope is to keep growing my ability to follow and to lead. Growing in humility isn’t easy – feels counterintuitive, even, but is a necessary lesson.

So, there are one or two more recent live performances that I’ve been to, but the one that I want to talk about is the U2 concert I attended in Singapore on 1 December 2019. It was just before the travel lockdowns started with COVID, and it was my last trip for quite awhile because of the pandemic. I had for the longest time, wanted to go for a U2 concert. When I found out U2 were coming to Singapore, I knew I had to! This felt right.

There was a huge setback because my friend was at the last minute unable to come for the concert because she was recovering from an illness. Another friend took her place, and that ended up working out fine. Getting to Singapore was a bit of a struggle, though. My flight, which ordinarily would’ve taken an hour ended up taking 6-7 hours, thanks to some bizarre weather conditions, that I later found out, had affected other flights too.

Whatever the hiccups, I was in the Singapore National Stadium well ahead of time. Sound levels in the stadium were beyond anything I know. I can’t remember if it was my watch or my friend’s that showed ‘danger levels’ for sound exposure. It was thrilling. And the stage – my goodness, the stage was set up in true U2 style.

It felt almost like I was having an out of body experience. The tunes that were sung were all well-known. Everyone sang along. People screamed, danced, and sang their hearts out. The atmosphere was sizzling with the heat of U2’s magic. It was amazing.

I don’t think I’ll be going for another concert like this again. As much as the music pumped the ferocity of the blood running through my veins, I was painfully aware that my body was different, thanks to the progression of my long term illness. There were things I struggled with, which I wished I didn’t. Still, I’m thrilled to the bone that this was the concert that I managed to get to. If it’s to be my last big concert, this was simply the best way to go!

U2 was magic on that hot, sticky night in Singapore. The colours of the lights from the stage warmed my body. The tunes they churned gladdened my heart like an old friend popping by for an incredible chat. I’ll never forget this out of the world experience.

I’m not brave enough to do this, nor am I willing to give up anonymity, but if I could do something for just one day – it’d be to be a lead singer of a famous band and do a concert. I love the energy I see from the stars that do this. I love the lights and the grandiose arrangements of the sets. I love the way they connect with people- so many people, at one go. This is the best part, I’d think. So yes- to doing this for just one day! Then I’d like to crawl back into my life- with my pooch, family and friends and a whole lot of quieter creature comforts.