A lesson I learnt when my dad turned 89

Today, my father turned 89. That’s quite a blessing, I think, because there’s not one thing that we can do to add or subtract to our lives. I’d been wondering what to do- how to celebrate. It was something that I pondered on for quite a bit.

These days, I recognise that it’s no longer possible for me to cook for large crowds. It’s no longer possible for me to cook for any sort of crowd. It’s an achievement when I do it for dad and me. So for this lunch party, whilst it wasn’t the most complicated sort of do, wasn’t easy for me. Thankfully, I had options! I ordered food from a much trusted food business run by friends. Boy! Did they deliver! The food was magnificent. I didn’t for a second doubt the quality of what I’d get, but I guess I doubted my ability to organise things when the family arrived. It is hard for me to carry dishes, serve food, etc. This is yet another layer of ability that my illness has taken away from me. But there were blessings all around. 

A cousin helped me carry tables and chairs. I couldn’t have done this. Our helper made herself available for every single thing I needed in the days leading up to today. My aunt refused to let me wash the table cloths she had lent me for the tables I’d borrowed from her, and she made and brought some incredibly yummy desserts. Another aunt and uncle brought heaps of a popular local food, and I must mention that my aunt helped me with buying flowers and a few things I needed. Another cousin organised drinks, while his power-house wife and yet another cousin helped organise all the food to be put out on the tables. In the end, I was an able host, because I was enabled. 

My heart is so full as I sit and ponder on this. In fact, I’m dreadfully missing my mother right now. My cousins and the rest of the family may think their contributions were small. They haven’t a clue how big a deal they are to me because I’m no longer that able! It has been such a struggle dealing with the loss of ability in hosting. Gone are the days when I would spend an entire two weeks buying and prepping bits and bobs that could be frozen, etc. just for one party. Now – I have to look for food options, maybe even dessert and whatnots. I hadn’t realised how stressed I was about even being able to put the food out. My mum would get it. She suffered from the same chronic illness. She would so get its debilitating nature. The push I give myself is fairly big – on most days, I have to counter fatigue, by not giving in, which is not a pleasant experience. It’s hard to explain how it feels when your whole body works against you – a strange sort of inertia that holds you back, without ever setting you free. Yet – today, my heart is full.

Yes, my heart is full because my dad’s 89th birthday had us surrounded by a set of blessings in the form of my family. We’ve shared a history: some of it hasn’t been great, some of it has been sad, some full of hope and victory and on days such as today – so full of love, kindness, joy and unity. So I do thank my God. I thank Him for this blessing that He granted us today. I thank Him for the grace that surrounded not just dad, but me – in the form of my family, for all the strength that He gave me through them, to fill our home with the noise of laughter and chatter. 

One day, I hope my family realise how they enabled me today, to do what I wanted to do. Today, I recognise that it was through the grace of God that I was granted this. How He moves mountains! Today, I can say that despite this debilitating illness, I can be thankful and that I can count it as joy that I have been met with the trial of this illness, for today, it has produced an even greater desire within me to be faithful  to Jesus. Soli Deo Gloria!