The Loki Lesson

It’s quite funny how I immediately think of my four-legged Loki when I see Loki from the Marvel Universe. Thor’s brother, who is rather mischievous, has moments of goodness that move you to the core. He loves theatrics, power, mischief and seems to enjoy a good laugh at the expense of others. 

When I tell people that my Loki’s been naughty, they tell me that it serves me right for naming him so! Yeah, right! I cannot even imagine why I named Loki after Marvel’s ‘god of mischief’.

The first time I saw Loki was in some photograph on Petfinder, which had popped up on my Facebook feed. The little blurb about him mentioned that he had been badly injured, but no real details were given. Something inside, moved me. I felt he was a little fighter and for some reason, I felt like I wanted to cheer him on. It’d only been months since I lost Patches and I wasn’t planning on taking on another fur baby. Then, I called to find out about this little creature that was magically appearing in my thoughts. Lo and behold, I found out that he was only 7 days old at that point. 

Initially, I said that I couldn’t take him on but everyday, when I drove to work, went for a walk or had a moment of quiet, this little creature would come into my mind. For some reason, I thought of how the little blue creature from Jotunheim had wormed his way into the heart of Odin, ruler of Asgard. Like Odin, I fell. Ten days later, Loki came home with me. 

Loki was severely injured. He clung for his life with such tenacity – it was amazing to watch. He struggled to drink enough milk at any one point, so his feeding was literally around the clock. He groaned in pain, sighed and slept. He often had nightmares. The poor thing. However, he would lap up all the love he could, whenever he was held or touched. He snuggled into me when he was in my arms. Loki made a play for my heart. 

Loki’s now slightly over one. He’s such a jolly little creature. He enjoys walking, playing with a ball or soft toys and he loves cuddling. He’s been great with kids and other adults as well as some dogs. However, there have been incidents when Loki has snapped at people and other dogs. They have been difficult to understand. 

Loki is quite fearful, when I think of it. Maybe he realises his own inadequacies. His handicap makes other dogs become predatory around him and they try to establish their dominance. He snaps when he is afraid. He snaps to protect himself. It’s behaviour I cannot excuse.

Yet, I absolutely love him. 

The experts have suggested that his early trauma has put him in a fearful mode. It makes complete sense to me. I remember the trauma. They’ve also said that whilst we can try to work out some of the issues, that they may never be fully resolved as the trauma is so deep seated. My little darling is damaged, as it were.

Yet, I absolutely love him. 

When I say I love him despite all the brokenness and flaws, it makes me think too of my own relationship with God. I have sin that is so deeply rooted that despite the various lessons and learnings which have taken place, I am hesitant to say, that I am fully good now. There is a constant battle within me- to be more Christlike, which is ridiculously hard (and not always satisfying) or to be exactly who I want to be, which is very easy but I’m not always very nice at this point. Today’s world lauds moments of “badassed-ness” that most would say that it is all well even when I’ve not acted well. Yet, I know, it isn’t. This idea of authentic self is set so high, that people forget how horrifying the true image of Dorian Gray was. Dorian kept his true face (in the picture) hidden. It is hard to accept that our true faces may not be as wonderful as we would like to think, and that these moments of being a badass are truly quite unremarkable. They are hideous.

Whilst I am sometimes difficult to feed spiritually (not otherwise, unfortunately!), I know there is one thing I crave. That is this love that comes to me so freely in the person of Jesus. It is love that never leaves me no matter what the circumstance is with me, no matter how broken I am and  no matter how badly I fall. There is a verse that I am reminded of: ‘For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.’ (Romans 8:38-39)

What a great reminder! I, who am so flawed, want to love Loki, who is so broken, even though my love is imperfect. I cannot give up on Loki. It feels to me that through this little ‘god of mischief’, the one true God is showing me how much more His love for me is. It is comforting to know that He absolutely loves me! 

When I was 10, I was fascinated by Jesus’ prayer in John 17. He prayed for the disciples who belonged to the Father (John 17:6). He then widens that prayer to those who ‘believe through their word’ (John 17: 20-26). It truly is sobering to think that my intercessor prays for me this way because He loves me. Jesus’ prayer seems to be that He will never lose us. My God seeks me completely. He does this regardless of my brokenness. I am relieved by this, beyond words. Jesus will never give up on me.

When I look back at Loki, who has triggered these thoughts in my head, I see a little creature who needs a safe home. Just like me, he doesn’t always realise he is home. There is pain caused, when he does that, just as I know I pain my Lord, when I don’t behave like I am a part of His family. Astoundingly, Loki is perhaps a far better example to me than I am to him. He tirelessly seeks me out. He longs for closeness between us and he never tries to leave me. As I write this, I am challenged on how much I seek out the Father who loves me. How much do I seek closeness with Jesus? How often do I try to go it alone? 

Yet, my God loves me. 

Thank you, my skinny little bag of mischief, Loki, for this fantastic reminder of the love I have amidst my own brokenness. Thank you for being so loveable too. I thank my God for you! You fit perfectly within our home, brokenness and all.