The Flood

 I’m not very familiar with floods. The only flood I really know about is the flood in the Bible, where Noah built an ark. To believers, it is an incredible story of God’s judgement and grace. To those who think the Bible’s just gobbledygook, this is a hard story to defend! I’m not writing about that flood though. I looked through a long list of films with floods in them and I’ve not really watched any of them. Before this, my own real experience with flooding was the aftermath in our church some years ago, where a whole load of us went to clean. The damage was heartbreaking to say the least, but it wasn’t my “safe space” and I can’t say that I was shaken to the core.

On 18 July 2020, the home that I’ve lived in for 41 years experienced a freak flood. It was the first time for us, and I have to say we were caught off guard. It had been raining hard. That tends to happen in Malaysia and it’s not been something that has ever worried me. I guess it’s different if you’re from the east coast of Malaysia. But here, from within my home, I must say that I have mostly loved the spectacular rains that have come pouring down on us, as they cool things down in hot, muggy Malaysia. I don’t think I have words to put to my feelings when I realized that there was water inside our house. Loki was going bonkers and raised the alert! Clear water causing our carpets to float. My immediate steps were to carry Loki and get my 87-year-old father, who hasn’t been upstairs in years, up the stairs! I then rushed downstairs to try and move our cars but the water inside our house was already up to my calves and outside, it was at my knees. The cars weren’t going anywhere. My heart sank, as I looked at my car, which was just about 6 months old! Not the kind of thing you plan. Apart from gathering keys, the laptop, some documents, candles and matches, which I did somewhat instinctively, I was not able to do much else. I couldn’t move the furniture on my own. Within minutes, our electricity went off. Ours was the only house where this happened – not much fun. My phone battery was severely depleted at that stage and except for a few messages that I sent I couldn’t do much else. I prayed to God for mercy, for meaning. I prayed for safety, especially for my dad and Loki. I think I repeated “God, please… God, please…” for absolute ages. When the rain slowed down a little, friends within our housing area came wading by to check in on us and it was well past midnight when our electricity was restored. I tried doing a few things, but it was impossible with so much water around. The only thing left was to wait till the water receded. My amazing cousin messaged to say she’d be there. I didn’t make any other plans at that point but tried to sleep (which didn’t quite happen) and brace myself for daylight.

When the water receded, it was a bit later in the morning. I went downstairs with a heart that grew heavier at the sight of our home. Our brand-new furniture looked filthy. The kitchen looked like titans had battled in there. The whole place was like a war zone. I picked up things that could be chucked. Loki’s many chew toys were soaked right through. Those were the first that went. I spoke to a neighbour whose house wasn’t affected and asked him to take Loki over to his place. Most of my neighbours were out and about, trying to make sense of what had happened the night before. It was rather unexpected. My amazing cousin and her husband arrived with what felt like a huge disaster relief kit. She had organized for our other cousins to come too – and together, they, my aunt, our part time helper and gardener, cleaned the mess that the flood waters had caused. It felt like it was an exhausting day early on. I was already in dire need of medication for my RA at this point but was out of meds and physically – I was out for the count. Mentally I felt like a load of bricks had made its way into my head. As the cleaning went on, I did a lot of “administrative” things like getting tow trucks to come get the cars, making a police report (which was such a mind-numbing experience, yet again). I had to get my father relocated – it was just crazy. By evening, the house was clean, the furniture taken upstairs and left to dry. My cousins, who were by this time labelled a “wonderful disaster relief team” by a friend, were worn out from a long day of cleaning and heavy lifting. The lot of us went out for dinner and right throughout, even though I felt every joint in my body hurting, I felt so comforted. I felt like God had answered my prayer for mercy. God had heard me. It may make no sense to you as you read this – but deep within me, I had a certainty that God had heard me and that He had responded. I felt very supported.

Within the next few days, the volume of damage caused by the flood was apparent. As I write this on 9 August 2020, our house feels like it has undergone some savage turmoil. There was so much work going on downstairs to restore things, that wasn’t possible for my dad to return home for two weeks! If I’m honest, I felt terribly displaced in my own home. I cannot even begin to imagine some of the horrors that people who lose their homes through war or other natural disasters feel.

Most of the time while the work went on ferociously downstairs, Loki and I remained upstairs. I felt really numb on most days and sleep was evasive then. I think I’m not back to sleeping right through the night, but I’m getting there. There’s been so much noise in my head, it’s in dire need of calming down. I’ve been very irritable – some of the customer services that I had to deal with to restore internet and satellite TV, for instance, was nothing but nightmarish. Then there were the contractors, who at points tried to push me to my limits with all sorts of things – and when I stood up to them or told them off, would say that my husband was such a lucky man with a capable wife taking care of all things. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. There were things at work that annoyed me and there were messages and calls from people, who were perhaps well meaning, but who made me feel rather explosive. My emotions were jarred. I was shattered. I didn’t even have shoes to take Loki out walking as my shoes had all floated away! I felt like was trapped and I was running on empty.

I wasn’t purely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of negativity. I was overwhelmed by a lot of good things too. I was able to take some time off work on the days I needed to – this was much appreciated. It meant being able to focus on the immediate mayhem and to deal with things that needed to be dealt with. My cousins who came to help on the first day, really had me. I don’t think I’ve been able to process how much they did. They felt like a huge blessing. My aunt who lives in the same town came by a lot to help me out with Loki. This was also another relief, because Loki gets anxious when he’s left elsewhere and dealing with that is hard. It wasn’t also possible to just leave him anywhere! He was stressed by the strangers in our home and whenever I had to leave to deal with them, it was helpful to have someone there with him. Then there were the friends who and family who had different meals delivered to me as I couldn’t go into our kitchen and had no fridge or car. Some of them sent stuff especially for Loki too, providing much comic relief! Loki getting a meal from Kentucky Fried Chicken must’ve been in heaven that day! I even had fruit sent to make sure there was something healthy to eat! A big relief came in the form of another cousin and his family that my dad stayed with. They’ve been so loving and gracious towards him, that I am at a loss as to how to thank them for their hospitality. My cousin who organized the cleaning team of cousins – how do I thank her? She even drove me to hospital some days after to ensure I got to the rheumatologist without any further delay. The friend who first transferred cash to me because I was in her words “a flood victim” and a few other friends who sent along cash gifts to help with the many things that I have had to pay for – how do I thank them? The friend whose cousin manages the service centre that handled my car was another blessing. My car thankfully had not suffered water in its engine or gearbox. I was amazed beyond belief when I picked it up to find that it even smelt brand new. How do I thank my friend’s cousin? My cousins and a few friends who were just amazing to communicate with during this time: they knew the tiredness and the anxiety, and they kept it easy to reach out for stuff that was needed. There was no pressure or need for me to manage those chats or messages, for which I am extremely grateful, as they kept me sane and helped me cope. I am also grateful for the friends who prayed for me. I have been so tired, prayer has been tough and I have been comforted knowing that I was being upheld in prayer. How I do I thank these prayer warriors? There were so many offers of help that came forward that we couldn’t take up – but for which, we are well and truly grateful! I find that I am close to tears at all these acts and I genuinely am struggling to express how I feel. I feel like my emotions are flooding too, if there is such a thing!

I know that this is all God’s doing. I know that He is speaking to me through each one of these people that He has put in my life. Last year, the passage in Exodus 35:1 – 36: 7 was brought to my attention because of my work. I thought it was amazing how God raised all the support that was needed for the building of the tabernacle. That passage has given me goose bumps several times even over this year, as I’ve looked at it again and again for my work. Right now, to me, it feels like God is helping me in my own little situation. I know that this isn’t the context of the passage, and I’m not in the least trying to use it out of context but I feel that I am seeing the same God act in the way that I read about. I feel it because of how much support I’m getting through the different people in my life. It feels odd because right now, I should feel terribly depleted. Don’t get me wrong – I am shattered by this whole event. It has been rather traumatic, to say the least. But I cannot ignore the feeling that there is support from my God. I am grateful to Him for all these people.

So, to these different people in my life, who have come forward to help me at this time, I want to say, thank you. You may or may not believe in this God that I speak about, but I do thank Him for you. It is an expression of gratitude that I am yet unable to put in words to you, when I tell Him how much I am grateful for everything that you have said to and done for me during this time. I believe our God shows His amazing love for us through our community of family and friends. Each one of you displayed this love and it has really touched my heart. As we put our home back together again, I want you to also know that our home is always going to be open to you. Thank you again and again.

To my God, I have no words. I am speechless at His goodness and mercy. He’s taught me how to accept help – not very easy to do always. It is something I need to process a bit more. He has made me feel so supported and strengthened through this blow. ‘For I will proclaim the name of the LORD; ascribe greatness to our God!’ (Deuteronomy 32: 3). I feel this is what I must do.