Reflecting on changes in 2019

What a year 2019 has been. It feels like it has blitzed past. As I write this on 31 December 2019, I’m looking back at this year. It has been a rather full on year on all fronts. It feels like my family, friends and I have had so much to deal with, we’ve not had a moment!

This year brought a lot of change for me. I started a new job and have had the opportunity to meet and work with people from different parts of Malaysia and from all over the world. That’s been the best part of the job for me – meeting with so many different people. It has been inspiring to see so many people committed to taking the gospel out and some have been doing it for absolute ages. Some of these people that I’ve talked to, show such great understanding of scripture. It’s gobsmacking! Additionally, there has been a considerable amount of travel involved. Different cultures never cease to educate. They give you points to ponder on. For some things you wonder why your own culture has never incorporated some of these things. For others, you are grateful that they are purely things you witness and not have to adopt. It has all been sensational.

This is also the year for lots of change at home. I know I had started clearing things out for about a year and a half now. The idea really is to help me cope as the arthritis progresses. It has been quite a process and this year was another phase. We changed the kitchen a little at home, replacing very old shelves with new ones. It gave me an opportunity to vet through more stuff when I started putting things back. I’ve given away many things I’ve used for baking for weddings and parties. I know the limitations are setting in and I no longer want to take on big baking projects. Still, it was hard to let go of some of these things that have been a big part of my life for so long and which have helped me contribute to events in a way that I have truly enjoyed. The deed is done- stuff has been given away. I still need to get used to this, though.

There has also been a healing of certain relationships within the family that have always been a point of stress for me. This is big change and one that I am convinced could only have been brought about by the Holy Spirit. I’m not going to say too much more on this, except that the healing has impacted me in that I don’t continue feeling split, whenever there’s something on or over periods like Christmas. Whenever I start to think that God doesn’t answer prayer, may I always be reminded of His Hand in this. Soli Deo Gloria!

Another huge change that has taken place as a result of my arthritis is the way I entertain or whether even I can entertain. This year, for the first time in absolute yonks, I didn’t host a thing over Christmas. Loved ones visited and it was all so relaxed and full of love. They brought food with them and my own prep or work levels for these visits was incredibly low. I couldn’t have managed anyway, if it had had to be lots of prep and work on my part. Inflammation levels are particularly high right now for me, as the blood work reveals. This has meant getting used to doing things in a different way and learning to relax in the graces shown by my loved ones, which I attribute fully to my God.

Then, there is the arrival of Loki, my persistent little mischief maker. Every day, there is a new tale of mischief to be told: another plant or something or other destroyed. He also has the most curious way of running about and he flops over with no care, absolutely sure that I’ll catch him! He’s coming into his own and it is wonderful to see. But Loki’s arrival is bittersweet for me. It reminds me that Patches died. Talk about big change. My handsome, gentle, loving Patches, whose loss I feel keenly, is no more here. I don’t have his silly yet, ever so reassuring presence with me anymore. It pains me just to say that. The routines I had with Patches have all come to a halt. Big change indeed.

I don’t know about you, but I struggle with change. I don’t necessarily like it. If the change is pleasant, it’s obviously easier to accept than otherwise. Change requires adaptation. However, change cannot be stopped – it happens. We are powerless to stop it.

In this regard, I am terribly grateful that through all this change, there is one thing that remains unchanging. I certainly don’t mean any kind of bubble gum love tales! I’m talking of God. ‘The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.’ (Isaiah 40:8). There are so many verses that tell us this repeatedly! We are told how Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. The wonder of this and the empathy behind it has not been something I’m constantly grateful for and I really should be! (A need for internal change!). This unchanging nature of God gives me hope now as I stand before 2020 and look ahead. I don’t know what other changes will come in the new year. I don’t know if there will be laughter or tears in equal measure or disproportionate to each other. I don’t know if friendships or all relationships will prosper or wither. Yet, I can be sure of the One I cling to. His steadfast love endures forever (Psalm 136) and as such, nothing will separate me from His love (Romans 8: 38-39). So, to all my fellow believers, I say this, here’s to the year ahead! May we go forth fearlessly knowing that we have an unchanging God in whom we can depend on.

“For I the LORD do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed. – Malachi 3:6