Responding to Mistakes

I think most of us have at some point come to the understanding that we all make mistakes. At the back of our minds this truth exists. It seems however that in the work setting, we often forget this simple truth.

Whether the forgetfulness stems from stress or desire to be seen as flawless, I cannot say. So our reactions are somewhat along the lines of “this is not the standard I expect from my people” or “I expect my people to be more professional” or many other things along these lines. Sometimes they are couched in harsher language. Sometimes there are just fits of rage, which help no one. I find these staggering! Maybe now that I’m so much older and have seen a lot more, that I have a name for such responses to mistakes we make in the workplace. Responses like these are plain and simply: “bad behaviour.” That’s really what it is: bad behaviour. Where do we get off reacting in a way that implies we never make mistakes? We create an impossible situation. We give others stress through our lack of understanding and we also set up impossible expectations for ourselves. This is ironic because we’re all susceptible to mistakes.

The thing is, I’m not advocating the lack of a response to mistakes. Mistakes whether in our professional or social life are how we learn and improve ourselves. They serve as the impetus for growth if handled well. How then should we respond?

My mind often drifts back to when I was a young, budding lawyer. I had the opportunity to do a trial all on my own and I was delighted at finally being given the chance to form strategy and plot the defence (as we were acting for defendants in a civil matter). It was glorious indeed cross-examining the Plaintiff’s witnesses and hammering my points across. I had been nervous but held my ground and I was totally in the zone. I was enjoying the zone! When I got back to the office, I made haste to tell my boss all about my triumph. Finally, I had a “war story” to tell. My boss listened and applauded and proceeded to ask a very simple, natural question. “Anita, where’s the list of marked exhibits?” All of a sudden, my moment in the limelight came to a screeching halt. I’d completely forgotten to mark the exhibits, let alone make up a list. Confessing my mistake to my boss was difficult – and I imagined the scolding or insults that would follow. I imagined how furious he would get when I spoke up. I confessed with a heavy heart. There was a moment’s pause – and my amazing ex-boss acknowledged the mistake. Then he said “chart this to experience. Let’s look at how we can rectify this.”

My ex-boss certainly knew the grievousness of my error but he also knew that dwelling on it was not sufficient. In fact, had our energies been focused on my error, he wouldn’t have been able to guide me to the perfect solution, which he did. Fact of the matter is, I went on to win that trial. The mistake I made, I have never forgotten for one reason: it made me learn how to troubleshoot and come up with a workable solution.

My ex-boss’ response to my mistake was one of grace. Grace helped me learn from the episode. Grace sharpened my experience. Grace helped me love my work even more. Grace gave me a new regard for my leader. I was in awe of him – and I’m willing to bet that no hissy fit or unkind words would’ve enabled me to feel this awe for him.

I hope too that I am able to respond this way whenever others or I make mistakes. I believe that we would lessen our stressful atmospheres by learning to accept the simple truth that we will make mistakes- and that mistakes can and will always happen. Let us not stress over that. We know this truth. Instead, let us respond well. How we respond is where the focus should be.